February is the month of love.
However, this February I have been reminded of separation and divorce. Many people I am close to are experiencing separation or divorce from their spouses. This really makes me stop and think about ways to invest into my marriage. My husband and I have been together 16 years and have been married for 11 years. We both feel very strongly about the vows we made when we got married. We all know you have to put the work into your marriage to make it work. When you both work full time and have children, you get exhausted. Putting work into your marriage is often one of the first things that is moved to the end of your list.
I am guilty of this.
I always say it takes two to make it work. That to me does not mean 50/50 or 100/100, it means sometimes one of you may be having a bad day and the other person has to pick up the slack. Like parenting, marriage does not come with manual of how to properly take care of your marriage. It takes a lot of trial and error runs to figure out what works best for your marriage. What works for one couple, may not work for all couples.
This morning my 11-year-old asked me why my husband and I have the same Facebook. I explained to her that years ago her dad told me he wanted to cancel his Facebook and he would just use mine because we always post the same stuff. I told her that a lot of people made fun of us for doing it. A lot of those same people who made fun of us are the one’s experiencing separation and/or divorce. I feel like it was the best decision to combine our Facebook accounts.
Social media and phones are one of the leading causes for problems in relationship. Besides the fact that people have unlimited abilities to talk to millions of people, which can lead to infidelity. We are addicted to our phones, playing games, spending hours looking social media. We forget to put the phone down and spend time with our loved ones that are right there in front of us. Tell me ways you have learned to invest in your marriage? Date night once a month. No social media.
Ways to invest into your marriage:
- Communication is key: It took my husband and I many years to figure out communication is key. Ask before you make plans or a purchase. Not to ask for permission but so your spouse knows what is going on and has the ability to say if they do not agree. Talk about everything, consider your spouse’s opinion and advice.
- Communicate often: A simple text throughout the day can go a long way.
- Kiss daily: This may seem like an easy one, but I will be first to admit days go by sometimes and my husband and I have not kissed. Definitely something we need to work on. I always say that my husband isn’t affectionate but he doesn’t turn me down from a kiss, so I have some of the blame as well.
- Say I love you daily: the power of those words, need I say more.
- Flirt with your spouse: I could see how this would be beneficial. When you have been married for 10+ years, it kind of seems silly. I always think of how great our dating days were.
- Listen: More importantly than communication is to listen to your spouse, really listen.
- Tackle chores together: There is absolutely nothing sexier than a man mopping the floor or washing dishes. Besides that, us woman appreciate it so much.